I never really realized how dependent I am on going out and being with other people. I am stuck at my house because of the snow and am truly bored out of my skull. Despite the fact that I've gotten about 5 collective hours of sleep over the past 3 days, I seem to be physically unable to sleep in. I was awake at 7 am sharp. Nothing feels remotely entertaining. Not my guitar, not my piano, not video games, not reading, not even the internet. I suppose I could go sledding later on when my sister wakes up, if I can convince her. I went tanning the other day. I thought I'd feel claustrophobic in that little bed, but I really didn't. I did start worrying about getting cancer. It could happen. I could also get killed driving around at 70 miles an hour, and yet it doesn't really worry me. Enough of my optimism. My dad has called each day and I should probably call him back. Or maybe text him. Our relationship seems based on lack of personal communication, so a text or email seems the right way to go. My mother gets upset each time he calls, which is understandable considering their messy divorce. She takes out her bitterness on me since he is usually out of the country. He avoids all things involving serious emotion. I mediate. My sister agrees with my mom in an attempt to make her happy, but in my opinion, it makes things worse. I've lost all ability to take this or anything else tatally seriously. Is it a mask? Some might think so. And yet that is genuinely how I feel, so how can it be  a mask? Perhaps just a different part of me. Anyway, I really hate the cold, but the snow is so beautiful.

Like many many American students, I have been "diagnosed" with ADHD. My doctor believes it must be treated with medicine. In my opinion, medicating people with ADHD is simply a move to increase conformity. Just because someone doesnt want to sit motionless in a desk for seven hours and thinks outside the box does not mean they are diseased. The fact is these personalities do not click with the school system as ADHD kids often lose or forget things. However, I know plenty of ADHD people who have high IQ's and are quite capable academically. Lack of focus and lack of intelligence are two very different things. As an ENFP I am one of the personality types that is often labeled with ADHD. I am a bit eccentric, random, outgoing. But I feel it is crucial to who I am as a person. I may not be able to give wise advice to my friends when they have problems, but I use my wierdness to take their mind off it for awhile. It means alot to me when one of my friends who was crying over something told me that painting with me was therapeutic because I am funny. Another girl and I were filling balloons with paint and slapping or stepping on them. So I'm not cut out for being another face in the crowd. I refuse to let society tell me that because I'm a little out there, I must be corrected.